I’ve got a confession to make. This post was meant to be a bit of a “grind until you get it / pursue your passions” sort of thing. The idea was slightly inspired by a recent article I read about the “slog of life.” The author argues that most of us get up for work in the morning because of a “sense of obligation, guilt, or responsibility.” The author identifies these things as “negative emotions” and encourages the reader to pursue their passions. He admits that the pain and suffering in this pursuit will be real but “positive forces” will keep us pushing through. I think in many ways he’s right. But…
I’m tired of the moto, rah rah speeches about just grabbing life by the balls and running down your dreams crap. The “no excuses,” “don’t let fear cripple you,” “just do it” bulls*&t that permeates everywhere. The video’s are watched by thousands or millions of people and you know what happens? Nothing. You get an injection of feel good but look up and realize, “oh ya…life.”
I’ve been working slowly on building Sheepdog Strong for a number of years off and on. I’ve recently put it in high gear and some great things are getting prepped for release in the next month. Heck, it’s 11pm on a Monday as I write this when most are binge watching Netflix or sleeping. But it’s been a slow grind, I’m still working a regular 9-5, and do you know why? Life. And those “negative emotions” of obligation and responsibility…well I’d argue that as a husband and father of 3 children, that makes me a pretty damn decent guy. If it were just me, I would seriously have no problem sleeping on the floor in the backroom of a gym, eating ramen noodles for three meals per day, as long as it was my gym. That is what I want (minus the floor and noodles) and what I’m working towards. The video’s and articles permeating social media encourage me to just get it done. No excuses. But it’s not happening tomorrow. Why? My 10-year-old daughter loves to dance and dance classes aren’t free. My boys are already thinking about college. Last I checked, they’ll need some help paying for that. My wife doesn’t like gym floors. She wants to sleep next to me…ya know…on a real bed, in a bedroom. So where does that leave us?
“You can’t give 100% of yourself to one thing. There, I said it. It’s not real.”
Whether you’re into it or not, the Bible presents a good example of this dynamic. In Corinthians, Paul suggest that if you want to serve God to the fullest, don’t get married. It’s why Catholic priests aren’t allowed to be married. But often what’s missed is that he later adds that if you do happen to pursue marriage, then be the best husband you can be. Therefore, you might have to give up a little service to God to be there for your wife when she needs you. In other words, you can’t give 100% of yourself to just one thing (at least not on a grander scale). There, I said it. It’s not real. You’re a son or daughter. A husband or mother. A friend to someone. And each of those things require some level of commitment. So do the most that you can in the situation that you’re in.
Some of you will look at this article as an excuse, to validate your inaction in pursuing your passion/happiness. No one should settle on a life that they’re not excited to live. But if you’ve got responsibilities, especially if it is related to being a husband or father, you do what you have to do for their sake. But only settle between the hours of 9-5, or whatever the hours may be. If you’re stuck somewhere you don’t want to be, spend the rest of those hours changing things.
I just googled how many hours per day an American watches tv. Apparently it’s five hours and 4 minutes on average per day. For social media, the average is 2 hours per day (but teens are up to 9 hours per day? No way. Hey, if it’s on the internet…). Let’s just all agree that you waste time on tv and social media. Sure it’s to recharge. But perhaps you wouldn’t have to recharge if you had a job or career that you couldn’t wait to get out of bed for. To get there, you’ve got to push through now. When I went through Officer Candidate School, I knew that it was only going to be 10 weeks of hell. But then it would be over. I kept telling myself, “you can’t stop time.” No matter how bad things were now, the clock would keep ticking and eventually, 10 weeks would be up, and it would be over. Then things would be better. So put in the time, for a short while, for years of better. Put in the extra few hours per day when you can, working towards what it is you really want. Eventually, though it might take awhile, you’ll find yourself there.
Like all kids, my daughter went through the “why” stage. Especially when she asked about living things, my response would be that everything has a purpose in a greater system. “Why do bees exist?” To spread pollen among plants and create honey for other animals to eat. “Why do spiders exist?” To keep the ecosystem in balance by keeping other bugs, some that eat our own food, from overtaking things. I truly believe that everyone and everything has a reason and a purpose. I wish that everyone would find and achieve that purpose.
Google states that 49% of people are satisfied with their jobs meaning half of the population believe things could be better. If you’re in the latter half, what are you doing to get to the better side? Start with an hour per day pursuing your passion. Then make it two. See what happens from there. But no matter what you do, make a change. Do something.
-Tony
Founder / Sheepdog Strong
Sheepdog Strong 