Destiny Driven…and Crap Like That

I’ve got a confession to make. This post was meant to be a bit of a “grind until you get it / pursue your passions” sort of thing. The idea was slightly inspired by a recent article I read about the “slog of life.” The author argues that most of us get up for work in the morning because of a “sense of obligation, guilt, or responsibility.” The author identifies these things as “negative emotions” and encourages the reader to pursue their passions. He admits that the pain and suffering in this pursuit will be real but “positive forces” will keep us pushing through. I think in many ways he’s right. But…

I’m tired of the moto, rah rah speeches about just grabbing life by the balls and running down your dreams crap. The “no excuses,” “don’t let fear cripple you,” “just do it” bulls*&t that permeates everywhere. The video’s are watched by thousands or millions of people and you know what happens? Nothing. You get an injection of feel good but look up and realize, “oh ya…life.”

I’ve been working slowly on building Sheepdog Strong for a number of years off and on. I’ve recently put it in high gear and some great things are getting prepped for release in the next month. Heck, it’s 11pm on a Monday as I write this when most are binge watching Netflix or sleeping. But it’s been a slow grind, I’m still working a regular 9-5, and do you know why? Life. And those “negative emotions” of obligation and responsibility…well I’d argue that as a husband and father of 3 children, that makes me a pretty damn decent guy. If it were just me, I would seriously have no problem sleeping on the floor in the backroom of a gym, eating ramen noodles for three meals per day, as long as it was my gym. That is what I want (minus the floor and noodles) and what I’m working towards. The video’s and articles permeating social media encourage me to just get it done. No excuses. But it’s not happening tomorrow. Why? My 10-year-old daughter loves to dance and dance classes aren’t free. My boys are already thinking about college. Last I checked, they’ll need some help paying for that. My wife doesn’t like gym floors. She wants to sleep next to me…ya know…on a real bed, in a bedroom. So where does that leave us?

“You can’t give 100% of yourself to one thing. There, I said it. It’s not real.”

Whether you’re into it or not, the Bible presents a good example of this dynamic. In Corinthians, Paul suggest that if you want to serve God to the fullest, don’t get married. It’s why Catholic priests aren’t allowed to be married. But often what’s missed is that he later adds that if you do happen to pursue marriage, then be the best husband you can be. Therefore, you might have to give up a little service to God to be there for your wife when she needs you. In other words, you can’t give 100% of yourself to just one thing (at least not on a grander scale). There, I said it. It’s not real. You’re a son or daughter. A husband or mother. A friend to someone. And each of those things require some level of commitment. So do the most that you can in the situation that you’re in.

Some of you will look at this article as an excuse, to validate your inaction in pursuing your passion/happiness. No one should settle on a life that they’re not excited to live. But if you’ve got responsibilities, especially if it is related to being a husband or father, you do what you have to do for their sake. But only settle between the hours of 9-5, or whatever the hours may be. If you’re stuck somewhere you don’t want to be, spend the rest of those hours changing things.

I just googled how many hours per day an American watches tv. Apparently it’s five hours and 4 minutes on average per day. For social media, the average is 2 hours per day (but teens are up to 9 hours per day? No way. Hey, if it’s on the internet…). Let’s just all agree that you waste time on tv and social media. Sure it’s to recharge. But perhaps you wouldn’t have to recharge if you had a job or career that you couldn’t wait to get out of bed for. To get there, you’ve got to push through now. When I went through Officer Candidate School, I knew that it was only going to be 10 weeks of hell. But then it would be over. I kept telling myself, “you can’t stop time.” No matter how bad things were now, the clock would keep ticking and eventually, 10 weeks would be up, and it would be over. Then things would be better. So put in the time, for a short while, for years of better. Put in the extra few hours per day when you can, working towards what it is you really want. Eventually, though it might take awhile, you’ll find yourself there.

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Like all kids, my daughter went through the “why” stage. Especially when she asked about living things, my response would be that everything has a purpose in a greater system. “Why do bees exist?” To spread pollen among plants and create honey for other animals to eat. “Why do spiders exist?” To keep the ecosystem in balance by keeping other bugs, some that eat our own food, from overtaking things. I truly believe that everyone and everything has a reason and a purpose. I wish that everyone would find and achieve that purpose.

Google states that 49% of people are satisfied with their jobs meaning half of the population believe things could be better. If you’re in the latter half, what are you doing to get to the better side? Start with an hour per day pursuing your passion. Then make it two. See what happens from there. But no matter what you do, make a change. Do something.

-Tony

Founder / Sheepdog Strong

What is a Sheepdog?

This is my first post so it should be no secret that Sheepdog Strong is a new business. And like your first born child, you have to obsess over what to name it. I’ve probably been thinking about this business since 2011 and it wasn’t until early 2015 when I finally decided what it should be. I know; 4 years is a little excessive. At least with a kid, the second half of the name is already decided and you can narrow things down further once you figure out the sex (unless you’re my wife who MAYBE wants to name your daughter a boy’s name…we settled on Charlie). A business name is much harder. How many words should it be? What should it represent? Will it give you a general understanding of the business such as the name Facebook or 24hr Fitness? Or can I be like Uber or Apple? I mean Apple has nothing to do with apples and what is an Uber?

In the interest of moving on with the business design and cease obsessing over a name, I decided on two words and it had to describe the business in some capacity. One word was dedicated towards representing the tactical community and one representing the fitness industry. The problem is, for a primarily web-based company, try finding any combination of synonyms for “Warrior” and “Fitness” that doesn’t already have a website or someone who simply owns it, expecting a guy like me to come along with thousands of dollars to buy it (and I don’t have thousands of dollars to spend on a website name). Finally I settled on Sheepdog Strong, registered the name, and bought the web address.

Finally proud of actually naming the baby, I did what any new daddy does and started sharing the news of my newborn child. Imagine my disappointment when around 50% of the people I talked to asked, “What is a sheepdog?” Well crap.

Well then, let’s get right to the point. The first time that I heard the term was through LtCol Dave Grossman, the author of On Killing. Here, he describes speaking with a Vietnam Veteran who explained to him that there were three types of people in this world. There are sheep, sheepdogs, and wolves. The sheep are the everyday citizenry just trying to make a life for themselves, minding their own business and contributing to society. They’ve got private sector jobs, hobbies, family’s, and friends. On a Friday night they just want to unwind and crack open a beer or bottle of wine. Then there are the wolves that wish to disrupt that. For whatever reason, they hate the sheep and their way of life. They want to hurt the sheep and have both the capacity and desire to carry out that violence on them. In the middle stands the sheepdog, those who “live to protect the flock and confront the wolf.”

In the book, LtCol Grossman describes the sheepdog as this, “…what if you have a capacity for violence, and a deep love for your fellow citizens? What do you have then? A sheepdog, a warrior, someone who is walking the hero’s path. Someone who can walk into the heart of darkness, into the universal human phobia, and walk out unscathed.”

There are many that dedicate their lives to being a sheepdog. The ones that come to mind are the men and women that serve in our nations military, law enforcement communities, and fire fighters. Of course there are others such as first responders, military contractors, and even the guy roaming the malls. The one thing they all have in common is the willingness to sacrifice life’s comforts when necessary and even sacrifice their own lives to protect their fellow sheepdogs or the sheeps life.

In many cases, the sheep doesn’t like the site of the sheepdog. His presence alone reminds them that there are wolves out there and even among them. A true sheepdog doesn’t mind and keeps his mind to task. But conversely, there are some sheep that are ready to do the work of a sheepdog if the situation merits it. There are still some that are willing to keep their recording devices in their pocket and step up. Maybe it’s a dad walking through his home with a baseball bat because he heard a bump in the night. Or maybe it’s the guy that helps push a stalled car off the freeway before someone unprepared comes flying up their rear end, pushing his heart out because he doesn’t know if that cars on its way while he’s still on the bumper. And to you, I honor you the same.

Well there you have it folks. That’s who this business serves. And the word Strong in Sheepdog Strong? Believe it or not, it wasn’t selected just because the Sheepdog Strength URL wasn’t available. But that’s a story for another day.

-Tony / Founder of Sheepdog Strong